The reaching stage

This part of the de-escalation model is where, having encouraged the aggressor to air/explain their grievances, they are now calmer. This then gives us the opportunity to ‘build bridges’ and move the conversation forward. Whilst continuing as before we need to:

• Clarify the facts or key points made, ensuring that you know exactly what the problem is or what is needed.

• Encourage further relaxation – perhaps by inviting them to sit down or offering refreshments – if it feels appropriate to do so.

• Demonstrate that you empathize with their feelings but avoid any verbal or non-verbal behaviour which they may consider to be patronizing.

• Keep encouraging the person to relate to you. If it feels safe and comfortable then move closer and perhaps alongside the person.

• Avoid jargon and use straightforward language, encouraging the individual to ask questions or to clarify any issues they have.